Why bragging is not a good idea

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Why do people brag?

Bragging is a common human behavior, often driven by a desire to impress or gain acceptance. It’s something many of us have experienced, whether it’s out of excitement, pride, or a need for validation. 

Bragging is never a good idea. 

It’s important to note that bragging, despite its common occurrence, leads to nothing but trouble. 

Here are some reasons:

Bragging leads to jealousy and envy

Whether it is friends, co-workers, or relatives, they might have jealousy issues and try to sabotage what you have to make themselves feel better about their life by discouraging you or devaluing your endeavors.

You might be perceived as arrogant.

Nobody likes someone who is constantly bragging and is full of themselves. It might lead to losing friends and companions because you continually talk about yourself.

Make others feel inferior. 

People might feel less successful than you, and it could strain your relationships with them. A better way would be to help them feel successful and be humble about yours.

What it leads to do

I used to brag when I was younger. I did not know I was doing it. Perhaps it was a normal thing to do in my family growing up. Every time I achieved something, I had to tell my friends and family.

As I got older, it led to isolation and loneliness because of people getting jealous and giving me bad feedback and, to me, simply getting full of myself and stopping what I was doing.

“Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.”

– William Shakespeare, The Complete Works

This quote accurately describes what happened to my life when I bragged about my achievements and success. So the next time you want to brag, think about whether it is necessary and what the results might be 

The best revenge

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Somebody has screwed us all over. They stole from us or even cheated on us, got us fired, or worse.

We all wanted to get revenge at one point. “I’ll teach them a lesson. They will never do that again,” We thought.

However, when we try to get revenge, we open the door for them to get revenge. This could keep escalating to who knows what point.

We always need to find out what angle they were coming from initially. Maybe they were trying to help, and we needed to understand what they intended.

The best form of revenge is success when your partner cheated on you. The best revenge is not getting them back when they see you with a partner that looks better. They see you in shape with a nicer car. Then, they will think about what they did.

Getting revenge could get you into trouble with your boss or even law enforcement. Who knows how far things will go? You might hate the person you become in the end.

It might be challenging initially, but no revenge. Success is the best option for you. Life is short, and it is not worth the time.

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Why money is not the answer

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I spent most of my adult life making money. I would work overtime and sometimes overnight. I worked full-time and tried every side hustle possible to be the next Elon Musk—most of the jobs I hated doing they were tedious and draining.

I knew one day, I would stumble upon something that would make me a billionaire. Here would come happiness and fame and glory.

Here is the problem with that lifestyle and way of thinking. I don’t have any good friends left. I didn’t bother making any meaningful connections. Because I thought they would slow me down. I’m still single at 37, and the idea of having kids and a family is gone.

Spending some time making money and exploring ideas is okay, but it all has to be balanced. I don’t know if it’s because my obsessive personality stemmed from alcohol abuse and always wanting more. Or watching how my parents lived, somehow, it developed.

I read somewhere that around the $ 60,000-a-year mark. Your happiness level doesn’t go up the more you earn. We need enough to be comfortable, not rich.

Chasing money is not the answer. The answer is chasing—the right company and friendships with meaningful connections.

Suppose you were on a deserted island with family and good friends. You wouldn’t care about anything else if you had food and a fire. You would have fun and enjoy life. Nothing else would matter.

The problem with today’s society is that we prioritize work too much and material success. Those things will never make you happy.

So, Instead of chasing the dollar bills, chase art, chase sports, heck, chase good times. When you look back on your life, you will feel more fulfilled.
Happiness doesn’t lie in the one percentile of earners. It lies in the 99 percent.

The best thing to do is find a job you enjoy doing and pays fairly. Especially if it’s your passion, you are all set. Don’t work too much, don’t work too little. In your spare time, chase things that make you happy; you will be better off this way.

Why being in the present is so important

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Mindfulness is the most important skill that you can develop. Mindfulness is the act of focusing on the present moment. Whenever your mind wanders off, bring it back to the now, and don’t think about the past or the future; think about the current task.

It is where your power is, and you can accomplish the most. If you wander off thinking while working on something, you will lose focus, and it won’t come out as good. Or you won’t finish the task at all.

Some people waste many years of their lives being stuck on an issue. For example, ” I should have gone to college” or ” I can’t believe my girlfriend cheated on me.” They waste years replying to the same stories in their mind without moving on and focusing on what matters, which is the now.

The best parts of my life were practicing meditation and being in the moment minute by minute. Things just flowed and fell into place. Meditation helps you be in the moment by following your breath. For every exhale, count to 10. For every Inhale, count to 5. Whenever a distracting thought comes, focus on what’s in front of you and dismiss the distracting thought.

Another form that helps you to be in the moment is a Buddhist mantra, for example,
“Om mani padi umm”
These words make no sense; however, when said repeatedly in your mind, they help you be in the present. They also help to get rid of the things you have been stuck on in your mind, knowingly or unknowingly.

The benefits of staying in the present moment are incredible. You will find yourself not only being more productive but also calmer. There is also a Buddhist spiritual aspect of being In the present.

A seeker asked a Zen master for the secret to enlightenment. The master handed him a stone and said, “Find its value.” Days later, the seeker returned, puzzled. Smiling, the master asked, “What weighs more, your thoughts of the stone or the stone itself?” In that instant, the seeker realized enlightenment was seeing things as they are, not as he wished them to be, and in this simplicity, he found peace.

Supposedly, if you stay in the present for a long time, you will break away from your karma and reach a state of enlightenment. That is the Zen Buddhism perspective.

Even though perfect enlightenment might not be your goal, there has been proven research that shows mindfulness leads to less stress and better overall well-being.

5 things to consider when searching for a job

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Picking the right job is very important. You spend a lot of time at your job, and if you are not happy at it, chances are it will spill over to other parts of your life. Here are some things to look at when you are looking for your next job.

1. Make sure you enjoy the job

The first thing to do when looking for a job is to ensure you do something you enjoy. You will spend 8 hours, if not more, there. If you enjoy doing it, you will be happier there.

2. Make sure you can tolerate your coworkers.

The people you work with either make or break the job. You want to work with people that have similar interests. And the same approaches to the job. That way, you get along.

3. It pays well

Let’s face it: you go to work to get paid. If the pay is low, try applying for the same job that pays more elsewhere. If the job is low-paying, consider returning to school or taking a training course in a field. That will lead to a better-paying job

4. Good management

How the company is run and how the management approaches and works with you is crucial for advancement and career growth. If you don’t get along with your manager, switching managers or moving on is a good option.

5. Good company and industry

You don’t want to work for a company that soon will be obsolete. Make sure the industry is growing and profiting. Also, looking at the company’s reputation is essential. You will also be mistreated if it has a history of mistreating employees. 

Sometimes, it’s okay not to take a job rather than accept it. The job search is a long process. It has to be a match on both sides of the table. So don’t just grab the first opportunity that comes your way. Good luck, and remember always to have fun.

7 things I wish I knew in my 20s

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Unfortunately, wisdom comes with age. However, you can look to be older than for wisdom and guidance. Just ensure they are in a good place in their life, or their knowledge is not worth taking. The older you get, the wiser you get. Here are some things I wish I had known when I was twenty.

  1. Follow your passion
    When you get older, certain opportunities get taken away from you. Therefore, you should follow your passion early on in life and not let anyone stop you, especially in sports or something athletic. Work hard, and you will make it.
  2. Save your money
    When you make savings and investments when you are young, the money will multiply tremendously, and you will thank yourself when you are older. Please save your money on material things and expensive electronics that will be outdated before you know it. Even if you keep a hundred dollars a month, you will have—a million saved by retirement age.
  3. Cherish a good friendship
    Good friends that have your best interest at heart are hard to come by. It is harder to make friends when you get older. So stay in touch, send a birthday card, and always cherish a good friendship.
  4. Don’t party too hard
    By turning 20, you should realize life is not all about having fun. At this age, it is really easy to get addicted to drugs and screw your entire life up. Just say no, and don’t give in to peer pressure. You might wake up ten years later and regret what you did with the past ten years of your life.
  5. Take care of yourself
    It is easy to gain a lot of weight but much more challenging to lose it. It would help if you did a yearly check-up or physical at your doctor’s office by this age. Watch what you eat and exercise. It gets harder as you get older. So, develop those habits early on.
  6. Have goals and plans
    If you don’t have a direction in life, it is easy to get nowhere. I’m not saying you should have life figured out. But you should have things you are actively working towards, not just drifting aimlessly. The more detailed your plans are, the better and the more likely you will get there.
  7. Value a good education
    You don’t need college if you are uniquely good at something. Otherwise, you should get an associate’s degree. It will open many doors regarding job opportunities and your understanding of the world. You don’t have to waste your money on a prestigious school; community college is a good option.

You can’t go back in time, and the decisions you make when you are young will affect your entire life. So be careful, seek guidance and advice when possible, and constantly analyze that advice to make sure it fits your heart’s needs and wants. Good luck, and you can always email me to ask for advice.

How to tell someone you don’t like them

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We all had somebody we didn’t like personally and professionally. But what happens when they don’t realize it? What is the best way to tell them? How do you get that person out of your life?

I discovered a way of communicating this message using Zen Buddhism philosophy. It requires the correct relationship, action, and situation. To get your point across with them understanding it and not getting their feelings hurt.

  1. Correct relationship
    For example, you can’t tell your college professor you don’t like them. Because it is unnecessary, your relationship doesn’t require you to like them. In your relationship, it is correct for you to learn from them; whether you tell them you like them or not doesn’t change anything. However, it would be best to communicate your feelings correctly when it’s a friend or a potential life partner.
  2. Correct action
    You wouldn’t tell some you don’t like them but leave them somewhere when you offered them a ride. The best way to tell someone is to say, ” Our personalities don’t mix,” or “You’re not my type.”
    However, the situation has to be correct.
  3. Correct situation
    You must tell them at the right time and location. It would be awkward if you told them at a party in front of many people. The best time and location is in private, face-to-face. Preferably not when they are not busy with work or upset about something else.

Sometimes, when you tell them at the proper relationship action and situation, you might still experience an outburst. It’s okay; some people aren’t mature enough, they expect everyone to like them. Just ignore it and move on.

Sometimes, telling people you don’t like them at your job is necessary. The three principles still apply. You might say something like let’s keep our relationship professional, or We wouldn’t get along on a personal level.

In certain relationships, it’s better not to say anything, for example, close family members or in-laws. You can avoid them and hope they get the hint after a while.

It’s never easy to tell someone you don’t like them, but sometimes it is required for your and their well-being. So be strong, and you must do it remember the three principles and apply them to minimize the possibility of hurt feelings.

Two simple tricks to keep your house clean and organized

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Staying organized takes a lot of work. A constant improvement of minor steps eventually leads to being clean and organized.

  1. Label everything
    When I got my first apartment, I bought a label maker and found a place for everything. Then, I labeled it underneath or put a label next to it. In the beginning, it was hard to put everything back in place. But, after a while, putting everything back into its proper space became natural. It also felt good.
  2. Set aside time
    To stay organized and clean, you must spend time cleaning. The best thing to do is set a specific time slot every day instead of doing an extensive cleaning occasionally. It will be less of a challenge to get started.

When to quit a job you hate

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Statistics
Gallup survey shows that 71% of workers are “not engaged” or “actively disengaged” from their work. Which means they don’t like their job. It may be our education system that teaches us to get a good job. But, it never mentions to make sure we like it first.

My career
When I started my career as a computer technician in the corporate world, ensuring I enjoyed it was never a question. I got into it because it paid well and had a promising future. I never enjoyed it; it was challenging and stressful.

I told myself I would pay off my credit cards and school debts and get out of it. Fourteen years later, I was still in it and hated it tremendously. In my spare time, I was working on a website, which took off so I could leave the profession and move on to other things.

Make a change fast
However, looking back at it, I should not have waited so long. I should have cut down on my expenses and kept them bare minimum. Gotten a part-time job that paid the bills and pursued what I did enjoy in my free time. That would eventually turn into a full-time job that paid well.

Talk to someone
Talk to a career coach if you don’t know what to do. They know all the jobs and career paths you can take that you might need to be made aware of. Guidance is essential in life as well as in your career.

The best time is now.
It would be best to quit the job you hate today because we get old fast. You will eventually become like me, miserable and overweight, waking up to a job you hate and dread going to.

For some people, it is not an option, but very few. Write down a plan to leave your job as soon as possible and stick to it. It will take some time, but eventually, you will go and be a happier and more fulfilled person. It takes a lot out of us to do a job we hate every day. There is no excuse.